Studio Version C F I dreamt a dream the other night I couldn't sleep a wink G The rats were tryin' to count the sheep and I was off the drink C F There were footsteps in the parlour and voices on the stairs G I was climbin' up the walls and movin' round the chairs. C F I looked out from under the blanket up at the fireplace. G The Pope and John F. Kennedy were starin' in me face. C F Suddenly it dawned at me I was getting the old D.T.s G When the Child o' Prague began to dance around the mantlepiece. CHORUS C F Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag, G C To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg. F As I sat lookin' up the Guinness ad I could never figure out G C How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout. Well I swore upon the bible I'd never touch a drop. My heart was palpitatin' I was sure 'twas going to stop, Thinkin' I was dyin' I gave my soul to God to keep. A tenner to St. Anthony to help me get some sleep. I fell into an awful nightmare - got a dreadful shock. When I dreamt there was no Duty-free at the airport down in Knock. George Seawright was sayin' the rosary and SPUC were on the pill.** Frank Patterson was gargled and he singin' Spancil Hill. CHORUS I dreamt that Mr. Haughey had recaptured Crossmaglen Then Garret got re-elected and gave it back again. Dick Spring and Roger Casement were on board the Marita-Ann As she sailed into Fenit they were singin' Banna Strand. I dreamt Archbishop McNamara was on Spike Island for 3 nights Havin' been arrested for supportin' Traveller's rights. I dreamt that Ruairi Quinn was smokin' marijuana in the Dail Barry Desmond handin' Frenchies out to scuts in Fianna Fail. CHORUS I dreamt of Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny too The things that we got up to, but I'm not tellin' you. I dreamt I was in a jacuzzi along with Alice Glenn 'twas then I knew I'd never ever, ever drink again. CHORUS